Scenario: This summer you’re making some money for college by working as a housekeeper at the Sweet Life After (SLA) retirement community in Ancaster, which comprises 53 independent living condominiums, 27 assisted living apartments, and a 63-room nursing home. The community has a stand-alone building with a restaurant and activity centre where residents and guests gather for communal activities such as playing cards and bingo, topical guest lectures, live music and dancing, and even small religious services. Recently, you and the other community staff, including the rest of the housekeepers, the grounds maintenance crew, the restaurant wait-staff, valet parking, and administrative support staff received this written message in memo form from the new assistant manager for operations:
A team cannot succeed if the defence are rowing in the opposite direction as the offence, so we must all sacrifice our individuality for the greater goal. So, as the new assistant manager responsible for staff management, and with five years of service here at SLA, I am of the opinion that the standard of excellence demanded by our members is not being met in several service areas by our staff. If this 35-year-old institution of Hamilton is to maintain its stature as the preeminent retirement community and social networking location for seniors in the area, you must all be exemplary in delivering the highest standards of excellence in behaviour and service, as outlined in the 150-page training manual you received during your orientation. To that end, you must all now attend a pair of mandatory re-training sessions on June 21 and 22 at 1100 and 1600, one for the day shift of housekeeping and grounds keeping, and one administrative support, wait-staff, and parking attendants. We are going to emphasize and ameliorate your shortcomings. I expect to see all of you at your training session, and I will take attendance, or you can expect reprisal. Go team.
You’ve never been in a management position, but you can clearly recognize that this is a poor message.
What is actually wrong with the new assistant manager’s memo?
Step 1: apply the FACED concept to the situation (use the questions below and answer in complete sentences)
Step 2: re-write the original memo for a more positive reception and to make clear what recipients of the message are expected to do. Remember, this is a MEMO, so you should use the correct memo structure as learnt in Week 4. Please use your own words here and do not copy and paste our assignment paragraph (in italics above). Any part of your memo that is unoriginal will not be graded.
SUBMISSION: Post your own re-written memo in your own words along with your FACED analysis. In the FACED analysis incorporate the following questions:
1. Why exactly is this message problematic?
2. What exactly is the core message?
3. How would you feel if you received this message? Be specific in identifying likely emotional responses to the message.
4. Think about the people receiving this message, or the ‘audience.’ What does the writer fail to consider? Identify four or five (4 or 5) possible errors. Please be specific.
5. From a writing technique perspective (organization, style, grammar, punctuation, spelling), what do you need to know to improve the message
